Not Settled

Every once in awhile, Chad will tell me he's not "settled". What does this mean exactly? I'm not sure, but it scares me. If he's not settled, then what does he plan to do about it? Shouldn't we be "settled" by now?? So then it gets me thinking how I'm not settled either. OK- freak out time! When I was in my twenties and having our kids (yeah, I had Bailey at 30- whatever!), THIS was the time i looked ahead to as the "Settled" time in our life. But, yet, I am jumbled up inside. I worry. I obsess. I think too much! It hurts!! Every new month, is a new "thing". This month is the last one of summer for my kids before school starts. Their supply lists are being taken care of- I decided to just pick stuff up as I see it. Ok- that was easy! Back to this not settled thing. When I was a bride- i imagined my perfect life. Chad as my wonderful hubby. Working hard- and loving it! Lots of money- he worked for his family at the time, so that was a pretty real possibility as their business did very well. Perfect house- that i LOVED to keep perfect- full of fancy things. Beautiful children that I would love more than life. CHECK to that one!! :) You get the picture. My happily ever after. What was I smoking?? Reality is hard to swallow sometimes. I love my life. I love my kids and hubby. We are blessed. Blah, blah, blah. But settled. Hmmmm. No- I'm not either. I'm HAPPY. There's a difference to me though. What's that is EXACTLY I don't know. I feel like there is something I'm supposed to do or know and it hasn't hit me yet.. I hope I'm not to busy worrying to notice :)